Today we’re going to dive into what a coaching call with me looks like with one of our VIP team members, Alexis Iglesias. You’re going to learn so much from HER call, you’re going to want one of your own! At first, on the surface, it looked like Alexis needed help with time management and finding a schedule that works for her, but after some digging, we discovered it stems from some unrealistic expectations she put on herself from an outdated blueprint.
Danielle: It just sounds like time management is a big issue for you right now, finding balance and just kind of like you're being pulled in a bunch of different directions. That sound like what's what's going on?
Alexis: Definitely I think that’s where I am right now.
Struggling to manage my schedule at the moment (i.e., making time for workouts, handstand drills, and my regular teaching/lifting schedule).
I want to find a way for all of my workouts to fit into my schedule harmoniously. At the moment, I always end up leaving something out or not giving 100%.
Danielle: So my question to you is: What makes you leave something out or not give a hundred percent?
Alexis: What makes me leave something out is if I don't do it early, then stuff comes up and life just happens. That been what's been the most difficult and why I try to move things earlier. But when I was doing it early, even when I was doing my workouts, I was feeling fatigued, things that normally wouldn't bother me like push-ups are just more tiring than usual and it was difficult to get through them. So then I was like, “Okay, this is taking me longer than I need - I don't have this much time to do it” and so I wasn't completing things either. So that's probably what’s been the struggle; is that it when I was doing it in the morning, I wasn't feeling like my normal self performing the workouts which has been discouraging. But then when I wouldI plan to do it in the evening, things will come up. Life happens. Like I need to reschedule this call, oh I need to go to a fair tonight. Okay, I can do that, but then that means I'm not going to be able to go to the gym before I go to the fair and then it's late, so life has just kind of been getting in the way a little bit more recently.
Danielle: I can see that. So, what's working for you is... what?
Alexis: What's working for me, in general, is the intermittent fasting. That's great and I feel very very good about that part because that seems manageable and it's easy to do. My body (again other than feeling a little bit differently in the morning workouts) is fine. I'm fine with waiting, I'm fine with eating within the window. That has been working very well for me and also I don't mind waking up. Waking up is fine for me to do, so I can do fasted cardio for some reason. It doesn't affect me in the same way, but I think that whenever it comes to trying to do some of the other workouts like the upper-body or lower-body workouts in the morning, I just am feeling so I get discouraged. But I can wake up, and I can do cardio in the morning.
Danielle: Do you do cardio warm-ups before strength workouts?
Alexis: Not anything serious, like a few minutes on the treadmill.
Danielle: Okay cuz I'm wondering, because you say waking up is not a problem, so what if you get up like maybe 10-20 minutes earlier do a cardio warm-up that is something like a 20-minute versus a few minutes. Maybe your body wakes up a little bit faster, that way, and your body's already primed and then you try the strength workout then and have an intra-workout kind of boost within your window. Like something that is under $50 that won't break your fast, but something that kind of spikes you and gives you that little bit of energy. I don't know if you do black coffee or tea or anything like that. But something like that so your body can metabolize it and it does not break your fast, but that keeps you going for that workout. Then, that might be able to help you with your energy problem there. But also, if you're getting up and you're doing it, why are you getting discouraged even if you are doing it/
Alexis: I think why I get discouraged is... I think it's just physically like my body doing things that normally I wouldn't have an issue doing, or normally would feel a lot easier for me to do. My body isn't feeling ready for that first thing in the morning and so to your point, I might just have to spend a little bit more time doing a cardio warm-up. And for me, push ups specifically, I can do push-ups, like push ups are nothing for me but for some reason it's like in the morning, it just has been a struggle. In a way, that's what I think it's discouraging. It's making me question my strength, but I know it's not a strength thing because I can do it at another point in time in the day. But that gets discouraging in the morning because I'm feeling like I'm not at my best.
Danielle: I'm digging here on purpose because I'm trying to get to a certain point. So, okay you know you can do push-ups, right? So in the morning, obviously your body is compromised. And it's going to be harder. So accepting that it's going to be harder and pushing through anyway will make you that much more strong when you know you are at the top of your game. So even if you have to modify your morning push-ups to get through it I'm totally fine with that and you should be totally fine with that. Because you're still doing it, and your best (or that 100%) that can change from moment to moment, right? Giving your best when you're sick is different from giving your best when everything is going great in life. But what matters is that you give a hundred percent for that point in time and what you're feeling.
So if you're able to modify your push-ups or get some kind of intra-workout snack in there or give yourself more time to wake up, but recognizing that you're doing your best for that point in time, should be enough for you to not feel discouraged. Because when you feel discouraged, you are naturally not going to give your all. You're going to beat yourself up around afterwards, you're going to feel like you're not cut out for this, you're not going to feel good enough. You’re going to be like, “Why can't I do this, I know I'm better than this!?” But doing something in the morning, it's hard. Trying to have your body perform at its best after being paralyzed for X amount of hours. When you think about it like that, of course is going to be harder. And of course you're not going to be at the top of your game as if you were doing this at 6 o’clock at night. But you know for you to stay consistent. doing something “your best” in the morning is better than trying to be your best at night – but it ends up ultimately not happening.
Alexis: That's true. And then that’s discouraging too anyway. It's like, “Oh I wanted to do this and I didn’t make it happen” like that's also discouraging. Then I’m discouraged and I didn’t do anything versus just trying my best.
Danielle: Exactly. So take that pressure off of yourself to have a perfect workout every single time. As long as you're getting up, you are consistently moving. Your body is going to adapt overtime, right? Versus you trying to constantly work with your schedule – which will change as well over time. But for this season that you're in right now, the morning is working for you to be able to do it, to get up, to be consistent. But now this is the time where it's like, you kind of get to show how much of a champion and and warrior you are to push through the hard times. Maybe you do incline push-ups, maybe you do push-ups on your knees, maybe you do a variation to get through the work out so it doesn't take as much time, or you don't have to skip things. But you're doing it. And the consistency is what gets us where we want to be over time, not something that we do, “Oh I was able to do one workout this week because I just wanted to do it right and do it at night.” But what I've been telling myself because I am the same way I have this kind of thing like I feel like I've wasted a workout if I go and I only stretch or something. But stretching is equally as important as doing a bunch of crazy flips all in one day. So I try and tell myself, even with work stuff too, that done is better than perfect. Because perfect doesn't exist. So if you are to do those workouts in the morning, you get it done, you've already accomplished something for the day. It sets your day off on the right foot. And rather than being discouraged that you felt ‘weak’ with your push-ups, you can be like, “I did my push-ups today, I did my whole workout and I did the best that I could.”
Make sure you listen to tomorrow morning's podcast, because you’re going to like it and it’s going to be especially for you. It talks about kind of expectations of others, but there's a point in here that talks about the athlete mindset of celebrating ourselves for doing something and being okay with that and not nitpicking at, “Everything else went well except those push-ups, I hate those push-ups, why did I have to not do my best, I didn’t get all of them, it screwed up my whole workout.” Then you start off your day with that mentality instead of, “I have already accomplished more than some people will accomplish their entire day... by 8 o’clock”
So what are some ways and some things that you can tell yourself? Thinking about okay, tomorrow morning when you get up early, you do your workout. Afterward, I want you to give me three affirmations that you're going to tell yourself after you complete your work out tomorrow morning.
Alexis: I have already gotten up (which is hard enough for most people to do) and not just like gotten up to go and do work, but gotten up and done something that's good for me and I am dedicating time to myself and my health. And that's really affirming for me –I wish more people did. I am dedicating time to myself and my health.
I did my best. And that is so hard for me to say, but you hit the nail on the head there – that it doesn't have to be perfect. And it doesn't have to look like it might look later on the evening but for where I was at the time, like being able to say to myself, “I did my best.” That should be good enough. Like that should be great.
And then another one that I can say to myself is, “You are strong!” Strength is really important to me, I consider myself a strong person. I consider myself a strong woman. And so to also be able to say to myself, “You’re strong. Like that is who you are. That it is part of your identity.” I didn’t do this one thing that exhibited strength, like I am strength.
Danielle: I'm going back to you saying that should be enough for you. Elaborate on that a little bit for me.
Alexis: That's going to be one that I think I have to add as an affirmation because it's going to take a minute for my heart to fully come around to what I'm affirming. Which is sometimes the point of an affirmation, you may not always fully be there. But it gets better over time and you start to believe it more and more the more that you say it. I'm a firm believer that words carry power and language carries power and so I think that “I did my best and that is good for me” needs to be the language that I'm using around it. Because that's been the issue – that I'm getting up and I'm not feeling that it’s my best. The fact that I did my best for that moment in that time is what I am striving for, so I need to like acknowledge and give myself credit for that – like that's what I need to do. So I think that's where “that should be enough for me” is coming from. I haven't let that be enough and I've been judging myself for that when I should be a little bit more forgiving and be like, “Hey, this is where your body is and you're going to get up and you're going to do it and it doesn't have to look like it did at another point in time. You don't need to be judging yourself for not being at that point, but this is where you are now and, again, you're exhibiting strength and you're dedicating time to your health and yourself. Those are the things that are important. Those are the things that bring me joy and happiness to go further in life. So I know that I just need to change my language around that so the affirmations will help I think.
Danielle: After this call I want you to write them down and post them in the group and say them to yourself every day. Just for accountability and so the other girls can see it too. So, you were a gymnast and did dance, right? What are the goals of gymnastics routines and dance performances? When you when you go to compete or perform, what are you trying to do?
Alexis: I mean I guess I never thought about that… I mean, my goal was always to 1) go out there and do my best and show people that I was doing my best. Show people like the hard work that I was putting in. Because for me, that's what my performances were. It’s like, “You're going to be looking at me for however many seconds, but I’ve put it time. I put a lot of energy in this and I put a lot of myself in this.”And so it was getting to to put that out there into the world in a way. But also for me, it's fun. I did them because it was fun. I was never expecting to go to a more serious competitive level but it was something for me that just brought me a lot of joy. So I enjoyed them. It brought a smile to my face. It was something that I loved doing.
Danielle: So do these workouts and your training now, do they bring you joy?
Alexis: They do actually, they really do. Especially the handstand drills. That has been bringing me probably more joy than I thought. But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that it brings me joy. It's just been new it's just something I haven't done in such a long time that I think I almost forgot how much I enjoyed it – like how fun it is to do that. I have been recording my handstands, so that I can see my progress and posted the one in the group.
–PLEASE LISTEN TO THE PODCAST TO HEAR THE REST!…–